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Lunar New Year: A leap forward. Please read
#1
I've just had a stressful, hard day at work - but it's brought to the surface of my mind a few things I want to share this evening and say a few things I've been meaning to say for a while.

I come from a long lineage of extremely serious, conservative, and somewhat morbid tempered people. We've hurt each other, ourselves, and many others carrying on in the way we have - ultimately we turned into "I" and "they". But looking back unto everything, we do share the same gene pool, so that's worth of using a "we" reference, isn't it?

I have a bad habit of taking things personally. Sometimes too personally. My ego really needs a break of thinking that everything is aimed/centered around me (in good ways and bad). I'm trying to take steps away from that and other bad habits, I'm not anyone significant enough to gauge my own progress with that, and only time and how I end up will really tell. My life was very consequence free, hedonistic, pleasurable (in the sensual aspect of things) and devil may care - until recently. I don't wish to publicly air my dirty laundry but please contact me personally if my saga should be of interest to you.

I spent night after night crying and praying that somehow, this horrid void that had always been omnipresent in this dream/nightmare of a life of mine would close, that I would realize true meaning and fulfillment, and that things would actually move out of the state of rut and stagnation that I had emotionally found myself in for a while. I blindly tried to beat myself into making a happy life - flailing to and fro - neither of which turned out to be the correct direction.

One day, something inevitable occurred; I blinded myself to it's possibility for the longest time but of course - it came. ultimately, where there is life - there will be death. All must change save change itself, and none of us are immune to it's powers.

I found myself in a vulnerable, desperate, lonely, and uncomfortable position - in more ways than not I ran my own life into the ground. But at the moment of all this occurring I was too absorbed in trying to salvage and gather up the tatters of what I perceived as a comfortable former life. With little practical "real world" knowledge and being completely unprepared for such a wave of radical change ended a horrific 2012 on a truly shattering note. Psychologically, physically, spiritually - I had simultaneously become bankrupt yet was on the path to being richer than I ever had been till now (but of course, I did not know that back then...).

2013 has been a humbling, adventurous, trying, fulfilling, vivid, and fruitful year. I count my blessings now rather than Chanel jackets and cash. What I lost was made up for tenfold in a different sort of richness, in another type of wealth...

"We don't always receive what we want, nor even what we deserve - we receive what life brings us and when it comes to life, we haven't a choice but to open our arms...."

As Joey said on the second eve of the new year - what has passed, has passed. Only what is in front of us can be worked on. We can only do the best we can, yet it is important to remember, no matter the outcome...not to lose track of our real riches.

The year of the Water Snake has come and gone (nearly); On Sunday there will be a special service at temple to venerate and thank the grace of the Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, and Devalokas (celestial beings) for a smooth and productive year - I will certainly be present singing my praises and counting everything I have going for me - big and small. I will not only be thanking the universe but also all my teachers - Buddha, friends that have come, friends that have gone, those in memory, those I can't remember anymore, Joey for being an inspiration, support, and pillar in ways that she cannot possibly know of in my life, the world and all it's illusions, the universes we don't know about and can't name and all their wonders and the myriads of elements and causes and effects that have resulted in all that I know as life today.

If I can be grateful for all that has been - so can everyone else. Once you "get" a few things about the nature of life, you can start to get a taste of the reality of thoughtless illusion and the illusion of perceived reality. Stop trying to grasp so hard and just...let go. It's more comfortable than having it ultimately snatched from you. Sit in the cosmic riptide of all that we know "is" and take in every second of it with the greatest of being in the moment as you possibly can muster up yet don't let thoughts of ego, selfishness, or ignorance marinate in your brain while in the motions of everything - and you will realize, even if for a instant - all that you need to about you.

I wish everyone a happy, peaceful, auspicious, healthy, and beautiful Year of the Wooden Horse. May all step forward this year with mindfulness, compassion, love, kindness, friendship and respect for ourselves, each other, and the worlds we find around us.

[video=youtube;wU0PYcCsL6o]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wU0PYcCsL6o[/video]

[video=youtube;Li4vXl7_MVc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Li4vXl7_MVc[/video]
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] [Image: Renee6426.gif]

一開始我們就不應該有承諾 
更不該說你會給我承諾什麼
要快樂的時候, 我們就應該快樂
不再奢望著我們將來怎麼

Whatever is impermanent is subject to change. Whatever is subject to change is subject to suffering. - Sakyamuni Buddha

"Darling, for once there was a yesterday, once upon a time there was a us. For auld lang's syne let's not look back, For us, let's step back some..."
#2
you are right, wealth does not always have to be money Smile live in the moment and dont get too caught up in the past or future... it's hard, but we can try. hope u're okay!!! happy lunar new year to u too!
[Image: Joeybanner174edited.png]
#3
Things are frustrating right now to say the least. They always could be better but I am so grateful that they are not worse. Realizing that I am responsible for the situation that I am in and that I have a choice as to wether or not to roll around in feelings of remorse, anger, hatred, and violence towards those whom have treated me unfairly like a dog that has found a dead skunk OR to simply turn the focus to something actually productive, healthy, and try to pick up as best I can with what I have to work with.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] [Image: Renee6426.gif]

一開始我們就不應該有承諾 
更不該說你會給我承諾什麼
要快樂的時候, 我們就應該快樂
不再奢望著我們將來怎麼

Whatever is impermanent is subject to change. Whatever is subject to change is subject to suffering. - Sakyamuni Buddha

"Darling, for once there was a yesterday, once upon a time there was a us. For auld lang's syne let's not look back, For us, let's step back some..."
#4
we can't always control our situation, but we can always control are reaction and how we cope
[Image: Joeybanner174edited.png]


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